ladies and gentlemen, for your delight, the darlings of wapping wharf launderette...

the small faces have to be the coolest band that have ever been in existence. an explanation of their name normally goes like this: "face" is a term for a mod, and small reflects their heights - simple! formed in the mid-1960s, the small faces comprised of drummer kenney jones, no, not gapped-toothed kelly (and we are sure that there is no relation between the two!), organist ian mclagan, bassist and "the keeper" ronnie "leafy" lane, and the muchly groovy and godlike steve marriott who provided guitar, vocals and his famous marriottisms!

originally, the band were signed to decca and released such covers as "what'cha gonna do about it?" and "sha la la la lee." after parting company with decca - the label which failed to sign a little-known scouse band called "the beatles" on the premise that guitar bands were on the way out, d'oh!* - the small faces signed to the immediate label and released some damn fine albums and top-class toons.

in 1967, what is possibly their most famous song, "itchycoo park" hit the number 3 spot in the charts, and about 3 decades later was stripped of all dignity by m people. their biggest hit, "lazy sunday," featuring a dog recorded in marriott's garden, got to number 2 in 1968. strange really that their biggest hits weren't actually their best songs - ahh, nothing changes *sigh*. when released, it was rumoured that "here come the nice" was put out in conjunction with immediate's promotion of their new signing - a band called "the nice." so, the question remains, has anyone heard anything of "the nice?"

later, the band took a break from "the norm" (so it's been said) by releasing the album "ogden's nut gone flake" which featured "story songs" such as "happiness stan," "rollin' over" and "happy days toy town," with narration from the hilarious stanley unwin, who, if i'm not mistaken, features in a number of "carry on" films.

sadly, marriott left the small faces to exert his exceeding grooviness over his new band, "humble pie." the small faces then drafted in some scottish geezer called rod "the mod" (with leather trousers - bah!) stewart and rolling stone, ronnie wood - neither of whom was capable of matching marriott. thenceforth, the band became known merely as "the faces," maybe wood and stewart raised their average heights or summat!

the small faces, however, remain an influential, though, if you ask me (and you probably won't, so i'll tell you anyway :P) a not enough acclaimed, phenomenon. noel gallagher has talked of the small faces being one of his influences, whilst the jam covered "get yourself together," weller has been known to do a rendition of "tin soldier," and ocean colour scene perform an orgasmic version of "song of a baker." oh yeah, and there was that m people song too!

no-one knows whatever happened to decca-rejects, "the beatles!" ;)

1. "the darlings of wapping wharf launderette" - basically, it's all you'll ever need. a brilliant selection of small faces tunes. a double cd album with over 50 tracks (those done whilst signed to decca not included, obviously enough). a gem

2. "tin soldier" - *the* best small faces tune ever. honest!

3. "get yourself together" - just for marriott's "ooh, ahh" all the way through!

4. "i can't make it" - marriottisms in abundance!

5. "wham bam thank you man" - this is just cool. but what are the lyrics?!

6. "afterglow (of your love) - top keyboards, and at the very beginning, steve marriott sounds drunk!

7. "up the wooden hills to bedforshire" - again, for the keyboards

8. "ogden's nut gone flake" - if you hate instrumental tracks, listen to this, you'll change your mind and then wonder why you were so stupid dammit!

9. small faces version of "runaway," no, not the abysmal corrs song, the del shannon tune, you know, "run run run run runaway!" at the beginning, marriott takes the piss and sings like an opera singer. this version is actually better than del shannon's original.

10. "song of a baker" - this isn't really one of their best songs, but, as the bass and drums come into the fore, it's a good opportunity to see what talented musicians made up the band! but try to listen to the ocs version, it's wonderful!

marriottisms

a marriottism is a vocal ad lib which appears in the middle and towards the end of songs. this was pioneered by steve marriott, hence the name, how clever! but nowadays, you can find people like paul weller experimenting with their own variations of marriottisms - these are called neo-marriottisms

here's your definitive list of marriottisms...

1. ha! - the best "ha!" appears in "itchycoo park, just before the last chorus. also to be found in "i'm only dreaming" and countless others!

2. ha yeah! - features in the chorus of "all or nothing" and countless others!

3. hey yeah! - this is to be found in "my way of giving" and, indeed, in countless others!

4. my my my - pronounced "ma ma ma!" the best instance of this appears in "i can't make it," though, you can find it in "all or nothing" and, once again, countless others!

5. ooh - can be found in "tin soldier" between the fist chorus and second verse.

6. listen! - this is the first word in "talk to you," also in "i can't make it," between the first chorus and second verse. and, you've got it, it can be found in countless other!

of course, these marriottisms can appear in any order and can be placed together to make a whole new marriottism! these, however, are the basic marriottisms, but this list will be updated as and when any new marriottisms are discovered.

but if i'm so bad, why don't they take me away?