(again, just in the order in which i think of them)
1. metros - christened by me as "poxy metros." the only car that, when going forwards, can sound like any other car in reverse!
2. boy racers - sad, sad individuals who all look the same and drive cars with silly stickers in the windows.
3. getting beer thrown over you at gigs - i dunno about you, but every time i go to a gig, it has become the norm to have a pint thrown at me. it gets in my hair, goes on my clothes, and ruins my shoes. why does this always happen? is it a gig requirement or what?
4. boy bands - do i really hvae to explain?
5. the singles chart - cos it's littered with loads of the above
6. geri halliwell - fool. being in the influential position that she sadly is, you'd think she's look after herself a little better. but that's just my opinion.
7. excessive amounts of hair gel - it's the devil's instrument, y'know?
8. charles dickens - i really can't see his appeal. all his books are the bleedin same. example: child - usually a boy - is born and unwanted. the child is sent to live with some cruel people who treat him badly. he is sent to school, where, although he is caned by his sadistic headmaster, finds a really good friend whose "benevolence" he talks about page after dull page. then, unforseen circumstances mean he has to leave school and go to london - which dickens describes at excruciating length, paying particular attention to fog and chimneys! the boy is forced into a job - usually as a chimney sweep (or anything which is low-paid or dirty). luckily the boy is taken in by a nice, but impoverished family and falls in love with one of their children. the boy, however, is forced to marry someone else (who probably turns out to be his long-lost sister!) in the meantime, the good friend he made at school, "for it is he," makes another appearance and turns out to be incredibly deceitful and does something rather unforgivable. luckily, after a few years, the boy gains a successful career, his first wife dies (probably of smallpox) leaving him free to marry his only true love. there, you need never read another dickens novel again!
9. twiglets - even though they taste vile, when you've eaten one you have to eat them all, making you look like a greddy git in the process.
10. news 24 - it's so mind-numbing. the same news over and over. even the newscasters look like zombies.
11. public transport - filthy, unreliable, unsafe, useless. need i say more?
"and i wanna go to brainville..." well, you can't, but you can go back to the main page